As we are approaching Summer, I've been wanting to post an update on how God has triumphed and kept me during the breast cancer diagnosis, surgery and treatment of recent months. I do not consider myself a breast cancer survivor - that's giving too much power and putting too much emphasis on the cancer. I am a Survivor of breast cancer - I was attacked by something that God has helped me be delivered from and I have survived it because of Him. I don't call it "my" breast cancer, because that would indicate that it is in my possession - it is not...it is gone...and I am ever so grateful to God and those He placed in my life to help me be rid of it. Praise you, My Lord, for I know my life and every facet of it is now, and will forever be, in your hands. And, yes, YOU are worthy of the praise. I can boast in nothing other than His goodness and grace. Because of His loving mercy, I am able to tell others about His goodness. I am also willing. That is why you will often hear me thanking my Jesus for my life and my health. I know where my help comes from and I will always be pointing in that direction.
My radiation lasted for six weeks, from March 1st through mid-April. There was a repeated prayer I offered up to God every day during the 10 minute session. I prayed that He would direct the beams "precisely" where they should go to treat the area in the "precise" manner that it should be treated, and I prayed that He would protect me from any harmful effects of the treatment. I suffered very few visible ill effects from the treatments. I was sunburned, but it never really hurt and it never peeled to cause me discomfort. I know God's hand kept me sheltered and buffered the ill effects I could have suffered. I'm starting to wonder, if the hot flashes I'm beginning to experience now may be worse than anything up to this point....I'll have to update you on that one later:-)
Yes, God has been so good to me throughout this whole ordeal. In late April I had a mammogram and ultrasounds on both sides and was given a good report that there was no indication of any cancer. I rejoiced, to say the least. I don't know if I ever shared that I knew what the doctor was going to say when he came into the room that previous fateful December day to say, "You have cancer". Before going to his office, I had prayed, "God, I don't want to have cancer", yet I knew that for whatever reason that day I would get the news that I did. I can't tell you how those words felt. Only people who have heard it know. It's like somebody punches you in the gut and it leaves a gaping hole that hurts all the way to your heart. A sense of grieving starts, even then. You think, "Lord, why if this happening"? You know that it's about to be a Winter season of life.
Yet, in my case, I was convinced that for whatever reason God had allowed me to go through this, I would forever give Him praise because of all He had ALREADY done for me. My heart was totally overwhelmed by what He continues to do. I was never mad at God...how could I be? My heart and mind just don't react that way. Maybe it's because He's given me faith above all my spiritual gifts. With that measure of faith that He has given me, I have been able to face my giants with angels by my side. This is not of my own spirituality, but of God's amazing grace. He knew just what I needed to get me through my obsticles in life. Faith is His gift to me. It's like a lifeline He threw to me and said, "Hold on to this and I will hold on to you". I cling to it with all my strength.
At the onset of the diagnosis, I had a sense that what I was about to go through was not about me at all, but about how I could help others in the future who might have a similar experience to mine. I had worked for the American Cancer Society for over 5 years and I had experienced many occasions to meet and become friends with survivors. I thought I had an understanding of what they might be going through. I had no idea. How could I? How could anyone who hasn't walked in their shoes or sat in their doctor's office really know? I was about to get a crash course in cancer 101. I wish I could have skipped class or changed the focus of study, but I was locked into this course. Even when praying, I often was careful to allow God room to do whatever He wanted in my situation. I know God's power; I've experienced it with great magnitude in the past, yet I was not exercising the full arsenal of power in my prayers. I knew this, yet I knew that if I surrendered myself and my situation to God, that He would take care of the outcome. Getting to the point where I could say, "God, your will be done", had never seemed like such a distant prayer, but one I knew I had to pray. I was stricken with the conviction that whatever happened to me would be alright, either way. I knew that God would be glorified with whatever He chose to do with or for me. I was His...for now and for eternity.
My other saving grace in this battle has been my dear husband. I cannot fully express how loved he has made me feel; how well he has taken care of me. God has truly restored what the locusts had stolen. I am so blessed by the man he has become and how he loves me. Let's just call him a slow learner, but once he gets it, he does not waver! He also has proven himself faithful - to me and to our God. I am convinced that he loved me so much that it made him sick! He fully trusted in God for my health and well-being, but I think he cared so much that he felt it to the core of his being. In February, he started having heart palpitations and proceeded to have sleep deprivation for a couple of months. The doctors couldn't find anything and said it was stress. He didn't think he was stressed, but the depth of his love and caring for me was the culprit, nonetheless. Subsequently, loss of sleep and a weakened body brought on new symptoms in early April. Bill's back went out and he was diagnosed with a herniated disk. The pain was intense and there was no comfortable position for him to rest in. Sleep deprivation continued and there was no relief for about a month from his pain. After the second lumbar epidural and phsysical therapy, he finally was relieved of pain and has been pain-free now for several weeks. We are so thankful. Yet we are convinced that even this experience was for the purpose of helping someone else get to know God and his son Jesus. Bill's doctor had read his book twice by the time he had the second shot. He had lots of questions and was at a crossroads in life. We saw God in it all.
We have come so far in such a short period of time. To many onlookers it would seem that we have suffered pain, but, ultimately, I feel that we have been blessed and have gained far more in grace than could ever be lost in pain. Yes, my soul continues to magnify the Lord, for He has done great things for me.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Does March Madness trump April Awareness?
Every year, I am caught up with the rest of SEC and NCAA basketball fans, as I cheer for my favorite team during the championship tournaments. GO KENTUCKY WILDCATS! March Madness was always a favorite time of the year for me, mostly because Kentucky Basketball has had a great winning basketball program in the past and they are re-energized again this year with a charismatic and passionate coach and some really talented players. It's hard not to be excited about the team if you've lived in Kentucky or watched college basketball....it's just contagious. What is almost as interesting for me to watch, though, is the way dignified people lose their mind when it comes to their favorite team. This is especially true for the people and fans of Kentucky. They bleed blue, eat blue, breathe blue and (should they lose) feel blue! It is a big blue nation and everyone in the Bluegrass (and beyond )is proud to support their team - me included. Rumor has it, that approximately 180,000 Kentucky Wildcat fans converged upon Nashville, Tennessee this weekend to try to get a ticket to see their team in an arena that houses less than 20,000! Those who say that basketball is the religion there may not be far off base - based on that show of allegiance.
I find it admirable that so many people are committed to something they love. It's hard to deny that these March Madness fans are very loyal. I'm impressed, yet I'm pondering how people can abandon their normally cool, calm and collected selves to become rabid, rowdy and relentless maniacs. They don't care who sees or hears them as they root for their favorite team with complete and utter abandonment. It's complete entertainment, and a double treat, for people watchers like me - I get to watch a sideshow at the big show...or see the John Wall dance at the Big Dance! Yes, it's FUN and exciting!
I'm really wondering, though, how many of us will be tuckered out by March Madness, come April. This year, Easter is in early April. Easter, the Resurrection, the time of year that Christians celebrate that Jesus Christ arose from the grave three days after He willingly died on a cross to pay the penalty for our sins. WOW...can anybody get excited about that?! Can they abandon themselves and not care who sees how much they love a Saviour who gave His life for us? I'd like to say I could, but would I be as apt to show that loyalty with shouts of adoration and praise? Will I raise my hands and shout loudly that I love Him? Will I sing to the top of my lungs? Will I dance like no one is watching? Will I laugh and smile because my sin debt has been paid by the only One who could pay it? Will I celebrate the victory because I know the battle has already been won? Will I? Will you?
I'm just wondering today, will March Madness trump April Awareness? I'm hoping it doesn't, for me. I plan on enjoying March Madness - every minute of it - but I hope I place a greater value and awareness on a time in early April, when I give my Jesus unrivaled praise for the sacrifice He made for me. I hope I don't let the little gods I give my adoration to in March, evoke a more passionate response from me than the Big God who deserves my ongoing continuous adoration and praise, not only in April, but every waking moment for a lifetime and eternity. I'm just sayin'......
I find it admirable that so many people are committed to something they love. It's hard to deny that these March Madness fans are very loyal. I'm impressed, yet I'm pondering how people can abandon their normally cool, calm and collected selves to become rabid, rowdy and relentless maniacs. They don't care who sees or hears them as they root for their favorite team with complete and utter abandonment. It's complete entertainment, and a double treat, for people watchers like me - I get to watch a sideshow at the big show...or see the John Wall dance at the Big Dance! Yes, it's FUN and exciting!
I'm really wondering, though, how many of us will be tuckered out by March Madness, come April. This year, Easter is in early April. Easter, the Resurrection, the time of year that Christians celebrate that Jesus Christ arose from the grave three days after He willingly died on a cross to pay the penalty for our sins. WOW...can anybody get excited about that?! Can they abandon themselves and not care who sees how much they love a Saviour who gave His life for us? I'd like to say I could, but would I be as apt to show that loyalty with shouts of adoration and praise? Will I raise my hands and shout loudly that I love Him? Will I sing to the top of my lungs? Will I dance like no one is watching? Will I laugh and smile because my sin debt has been paid by the only One who could pay it? Will I celebrate the victory because I know the battle has already been won? Will I? Will you?
I'm just wondering today, will March Madness trump April Awareness? I'm hoping it doesn't, for me. I plan on enjoying March Madness - every minute of it - but I hope I place a greater value and awareness on a time in early April, when I give my Jesus unrivaled praise for the sacrifice He made for me. I hope I don't let the little gods I give my adoration to in March, evoke a more passionate response from me than the Big God who deserves my ongoing continuous adoration and praise, not only in April, but every waking moment for a lifetime and eternity. I'm just sayin'......
Monday, February 15, 2010
21 Days!
The doctor notified me today that it will not be necessary for me to have chemotherapy! I am both blessed and thankful. My GOD is so good!!!
My surgery was on Friday - Jan 22. The hospital further processed my tissue sample on Monday, Jan 25, and readied it for more testing. Early indications were that everything was removed successfully; there were clear margins in the tissue removal and nothing had spread to the lymph nodes. I was encouraged with the news. Some women with early-stage breast cancer do not benefit from chemotherapy. I was hoping and praying that I would not have to undergo chemo.
I soon learned that my oncologist was waiting on a test called Oncotype DX, used in early stage, estrogen receptor-positive and lymph node-negative breast cancer to determine the liklihood of the breast cancer returning. The outcome of this test would tell whether the doctor thought I would benefit from chemotherapy. While I was praying for a good outcome, I also became very aware that if the test indicated that I would benefit from chemo, that I would indeed be grateful to know that and would willingly and thankfully embrace that. My doctor informed me that the test results are usually back within 10-14 days. So the waiting began and the praying continued.
Last week, the company performing the test called me to let me know the cost of the test and my expected co-pay after insurance coverage. They wanted to make sure that was okay. After urging them to proceed as quickly as possible, they told me it could still take 10 to 14 days for the results to get faxed to my doctor. I implored them to move as quickly as possible, as I was waiting on this information before proceeding with any treatment. I continued to wait and pray. All the while, God granted me peace.
Today, Feb 15, my doctor informed me that he had gotten the test back and it looked good. He did not feel that I would need chemotherapy....PRAISE GOD!!! I will see the radiologist later in the week to determine when radiation will begin and I will meet with the oncologist to see if there are any other treatments indicated, such as tamoxifen. But right now, I am so elated and thankful that God heard my prayers and answered them in the manner that He did.
Today was the 21st day after the hospital started processing my tissue samples for further testing. I had resolved that whatever the test revealed, I would be blessed by the outcome. I would either not have to do chemo or learn that I needed it and be grateful to have the help that it would lend me in getting well. Again, I had peace because I knew God's best for me would be revealed, either way. To be quiet honest with you though, I was really praying hard that I did not have to do chemo:D I have many friends that have undergone that path of treatment and I know it is grueling. Of course, anyone, would rather avoid it if they could. I am so grateful that God has spared me that path of treatment.
In Daniel 10:12, he was told "Do not be afraid Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia."
I have always loved this story in the bible and have often prayed that God would dispatch his angels on my behalf to help me fight any battles that were waged against me. I've even prayed for Michael, the arch angel, to be sent on my behalf, on occasion. It's not a stretch for me to envision myself in Daniel's shoes and to beleive that God fights for me and lends me His army of angels to help in that battle, now and then.
This could have very well been one of those times. I have prayed and waited patiently for 21 days. The Lord has given me peace and I have trusted Him the entire time. I've said it before and I'll say it again...HE IS FAITHFUL!
My sould magnifies the Lord, for He has done great things for me!
My surgery was on Friday - Jan 22. The hospital further processed my tissue sample on Monday, Jan 25, and readied it for more testing. Early indications were that everything was removed successfully; there were clear margins in the tissue removal and nothing had spread to the lymph nodes. I was encouraged with the news. Some women with early-stage breast cancer do not benefit from chemotherapy. I was hoping and praying that I would not have to undergo chemo.
I soon learned that my oncologist was waiting on a test called Oncotype DX, used in early stage, estrogen receptor-positive and lymph node-negative breast cancer to determine the liklihood of the breast cancer returning. The outcome of this test would tell whether the doctor thought I would benefit from chemotherapy. While I was praying for a good outcome, I also became very aware that if the test indicated that I would benefit from chemo, that I would indeed be grateful to know that and would willingly and thankfully embrace that. My doctor informed me that the test results are usually back within 10-14 days. So the waiting began and the praying continued.
Last week, the company performing the test called me to let me know the cost of the test and my expected co-pay after insurance coverage. They wanted to make sure that was okay. After urging them to proceed as quickly as possible, they told me it could still take 10 to 14 days for the results to get faxed to my doctor. I implored them to move as quickly as possible, as I was waiting on this information before proceeding with any treatment. I continued to wait and pray. All the while, God granted me peace.
Today, Feb 15, my doctor informed me that he had gotten the test back and it looked good. He did not feel that I would need chemotherapy....PRAISE GOD!!! I will see the radiologist later in the week to determine when radiation will begin and I will meet with the oncologist to see if there are any other treatments indicated, such as tamoxifen. But right now, I am so elated and thankful that God heard my prayers and answered them in the manner that He did.
Today was the 21st day after the hospital started processing my tissue samples for further testing. I had resolved that whatever the test revealed, I would be blessed by the outcome. I would either not have to do chemo or learn that I needed it and be grateful to have the help that it would lend me in getting well. Again, I had peace because I knew God's best for me would be revealed, either way. To be quiet honest with you though, I was really praying hard that I did not have to do chemo:D I have many friends that have undergone that path of treatment and I know it is grueling. Of course, anyone, would rather avoid it if they could. I am so grateful that God has spared me that path of treatment.
In Daniel 10:12, he was told "Do not be afraid Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia."
I have always loved this story in the bible and have often prayed that God would dispatch his angels on my behalf to help me fight any battles that were waged against me. I've even prayed for Michael, the arch angel, to be sent on my behalf, on occasion. It's not a stretch for me to envision myself in Daniel's shoes and to beleive that God fights for me and lends me His army of angels to help in that battle, now and then.
This could have very well been one of those times. I have prayed and waited patiently for 21 days. The Lord has given me peace and I have trusted Him the entire time. I've said it before and I'll say it again...HE IS FAITHFUL!
My sould magnifies the Lord, for He has done great things for me!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Further prayer requests
The needs in Haiti, even before this past week's devastating earthquake, but especially in the aftermath of the disaster, are monumental. Please continue to pray for these precious people. They need compassion and love in many forms. Pray that the financial, physical and spiritual needs of this country and it's people will be met like never before. God loves them and they need to see His love through His people. Please continue to pray for them and do whatever you can to help as God leads you to do so. That's what God's people do.
I was thinking about all that's going on in the world. Trouble is something we can be assured of. Yet we can hold on to hope in a faithful God. He never leaves us or foresakes us and He will be with us through whatever trials we may endure. It seems that, with an event like this week's earthquake, there is a boatload of trouble going on. We needn't fear, though. Our God is a big God. He can handle the prayers of ALL His people.
In the bible, Job was afflicted with significant trouble. The cause for which is unclear. What is clear is that God, in His perfect timing, healed and rewarded Job. It's interesting that this blessing came after Job prayed for his friends. Let this be a reminder that we should continually pray for the needs of others. They matter to God and, therefore, they should matter to us. He doesn't actually "need" us, but, thankfully, He uses us to bless others when we allow Him to. Our blessings are so sweet when we surrender to His plan and allow Him to use us to bless others.
Considering that our God can handle a multitude of prayer requests, I would be remiss not to continue to ask for your prayers of agreement for God to completely heal me of the breast cancer I have been diagnosed with. Not only do I believe and trust in the power of prayer, but I am a particularly satisfied customer in prayers of specificity. With that being said, I am praying for God to heal me in any way He chooses to and for Him to be glorified in and through my current "trouble". Please join with me to specifically pray that God will do the following:
*heal me through supernatural intervention, i.e. a miracle, or
*heal me through the surgeons and/or medical professionals who will be involved in any treatment I may have to undergo
*give the surgeon and medical staff wisdom and giftedness to "encapsulate" the entire area that is affected and remove it completely
*not allow any cancer to be in lymph nodes or to spread to any other area of my body, i.e. bloodstream, organs or bones - again - let it be safely and completely removed from my body
*allow any needed follow-up treatment to be completely effective without any further danger or harm to me or my body
*surround me, Bill, Kristen, our family and friends with your peace that comes from knowing that YOU are in control and that YOU are good and faithful.
*allow this trial in my life to be used for good to help others and to shine a light on YOU, your goodness and your faithfulness.
The lumpectomy surgery is this Friday, January 22nd, at OSF - St. Anthony's Hospital in Rockford, IL. I go in at 8:00 am for needle placement and anesthesia preparation. The surgery is scheduled for 11:00 am.
Bill will give an update on facebook as soon as he is able to. To get an update, you can send him a friend request if you are not already on his friend list. We will also try to update my facebook status if possible.
God's blessings to you and THANK YOU for your prayers for me and others who are in need of God's grace and mercy. He is GOOD!
My soul magnifies the Lord, for He has done great things for me!
I was thinking about all that's going on in the world. Trouble is something we can be assured of. Yet we can hold on to hope in a faithful God. He never leaves us or foresakes us and He will be with us through whatever trials we may endure. It seems that, with an event like this week's earthquake, there is a boatload of trouble going on. We needn't fear, though. Our God is a big God. He can handle the prayers of ALL His people.
In the bible, Job was afflicted with significant trouble. The cause for which is unclear. What is clear is that God, in His perfect timing, healed and rewarded Job. It's interesting that this blessing came after Job prayed for his friends. Let this be a reminder that we should continually pray for the needs of others. They matter to God and, therefore, they should matter to us. He doesn't actually "need" us, but, thankfully, He uses us to bless others when we allow Him to. Our blessings are so sweet when we surrender to His plan and allow Him to use us to bless others.
Considering that our God can handle a multitude of prayer requests, I would be remiss not to continue to ask for your prayers of agreement for God to completely heal me of the breast cancer I have been diagnosed with. Not only do I believe and trust in the power of prayer, but I am a particularly satisfied customer in prayers of specificity. With that being said, I am praying for God to heal me in any way He chooses to and for Him to be glorified in and through my current "trouble". Please join with me to specifically pray that God will do the following:
*heal me through supernatural intervention, i.e. a miracle, or
*heal me through the surgeons and/or medical professionals who will be involved in any treatment I may have to undergo
*give the surgeon and medical staff wisdom and giftedness to "encapsulate" the entire area that is affected and remove it completely
*not allow any cancer to be in lymph nodes or to spread to any other area of my body, i.e. bloodstream, organs or bones - again - let it be safely and completely removed from my body
*allow any needed follow-up treatment to be completely effective without any further danger or harm to me or my body
*surround me, Bill, Kristen, our family and friends with your peace that comes from knowing that YOU are in control and that YOU are good and faithful.
*allow this trial in my life to be used for good to help others and to shine a light on YOU, your goodness and your faithfulness.
The lumpectomy surgery is this Friday, January 22nd, at OSF - St. Anthony's Hospital in Rockford, IL. I go in at 8:00 am for needle placement and anesthesia preparation. The surgery is scheduled for 11:00 am.
Bill will give an update on facebook as soon as he is able to. To get an update, you can send him a friend request if you are not already on his friend list. We will also try to update my facebook status if possible.
God's blessings to you and THANK YOU for your prayers for me and others who are in need of God's grace and mercy. He is GOOD!
My soul magnifies the Lord, for He has done great things for me!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)