The verse for 6/12 is Exodus 6:12, "But Moses protested to the Lord, “The Israelites wouldn’t listen to me. Why would Pharaoh listen to me? I’m such a poor speaker.” (GW)
Moses was, by all appearances, a very poor candidate to carry out God's plan to get the Israelites out of Egypt. Because he stuttered and felt ill-equipped to carry out God's plan, Moses complained to the Lord when he was asked to go tell Pharaoh to let the people of Israel go. But I think God was more interested in his availability, not his ability.
As we track the story of the Israelites being released from the bondage of slavery in the land of Egypt, we see that the plan was not really contingent upon how well Moses communicated with others, but it had more to do with how well he communicated with God. God even allowed Aaron, his brother and a more accomplished speaker, to help Moses with the task at hand, but it was really Moses that God chose to complete His purposes. Moses was the Charlton Heston for the job and Aaron was the best supporting actor. In all sincerity, we can see where it is true that God doesn't call the qualified, but qualifies the called.
I am terrified of public speaking. I have a Moses Complex second only to that of Moses, himself. I am not a good speaker. I forget what I'm supposed to say and I often become so emotional that I cannot even speak at all. My fear of not doing a good job, or of making a fool of myself, has often kept me on the bench instead of in the game, where God wanted me. It's pretty ironic, really, since I have a college degree in Speech Communications. As I have pondered this more and more, over the years, I've come to realize that I've put too much emphasis on what I could, or couldn't, do and not near enough trust in what God can do. I'm not proud of my selfishness, but I still find myself wanting to play it "safe." I feel like God can always find someone better than me to do the job. Of course He could, but God is not asking them; He is asking me.
Take from this whatever you will, but God really got my attention in this respect recently. Bill and I had just had a little "conversation" while traveling, where he said I should be teaching more and that he would like me to come along beside him in that area. I quickly asserted that teaching was not my gift and that I needed to stay involved in writing or doing something more behind the scenes. We agreed to disagree on the subject. A short while later, while driving in the car, we listened to a sermon that had been recorded some time earlier at the Brooklyn Tabernacle. The Pastor, Jim Cymbala, was illustrating a point and decided to call on a couple of people from the audience to help him make his point. We both grinned a little as he called out "William" to the man he wanted to help him. I told Bill he must be talking to him. A few seconds later, my mouth dropped open as he said, "Carol, you come along beside William!" He then went on to talk about "William and Carol" being a team and that William needed Carol's help. It may have been mere coincidence that those names were so close to ours, but I chose not to ignore what had just occurred. I sort of felt like God was talking to me; like He wanted me to stop complaining about my inadequacies.
I'm not sure what God is asking me to do, or when He will ask me to do it, but I am certain that it's not really my abilities He is looking for. He wants my availabilty, to be used by Him and for Him. I may not be able to speak well, but I do realize that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. As I keep my focus on what God can do, I will care far less about what I can or cannot do in my own strength and abilities. Just like Moses, what is really important is not my ability to communicate with others, but my ability to communicate with God. I think I'll stop complaining so much and let Him do more of the talking.
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